Friday, January 21, 2011

ecstasy (VIII)

if you see a shadow there's something there
between the ceiling and the dark spots of the room
under the bed and behind the wires of the tv
lodged between the cracks of walls and squeezed
through the floorboards and windows

i lift my head and the world whooshes in and out
my stomach turns over and my flesh burns to the touch
my heart's beating three times faster than usual
and in my mind the question am i going to die creaks
like a broken record

am i going to die

am i

am i going to

i am going to die

die

die

why









no, baby, you're not going to die
not now not yet
god doesn't let young fools like you off so easily
he's a sadistic bastard who jacks off to the idea
of bringing us to heaven once
letting us taste that indescribable joy
then plunging us back down again to earth
parched mouth, rolling eyes, crying throat

so hard and so fast
that we look around us in the morning when we wake
and instead of fearing death
we yearn for it with all of our being
because life is not enough

it is not enough

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