Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Loss of Virginity as the Loss of Innocence

Usually when people refer to losing one's innocence, they refer to the loss of virginity or some other stereotypical, societal taboo act, such as smoking, doing drugs, or drinking alcohol. Supposedly, innocence is retained in childhood and when the child goes to middle and high school, his mind becomes opened up to new ideas that are not so pure.

When one has sex for the first time, one does not lose any of one's innocence. The mentality implies that before the act, the person was pure as a virgin and then after the rite of passage, entered the "grown-up" world, or something of that sort.  As much as movies and the media like to pretend that it's such a big deal...it's not. One particular movie, American Pie, sticks in mind. It is the story about a group of senior high school students (all boys) who make a pact that they will lose their virginity before the school year ends. One of the boys has a girlfriend and she remarks throughout the movie that she wants everything to be perfect. When they do finally get to it, she realizes that she is disillusioned and that it wasn't perfect. Although she wanted it and she had it with someone she cared about, it hurt. The morning after was awkward. She realized that love usually ends, especially in high school. She would never see her boyfriend again and what had happened was probably just a one-time thing. The movie pressures the point that if one doesn't have sex before one gets into college especially if one is male, one sucks. There is an aura built around the act of sex so much that young people expect too much out of it. They want it to be perfect. I'm sorry, let me break it to you, it won't be. There will be some awkward moments. There will be some times that things will go wrong for some minutes. It won't be like the movies. And that's okay. That's perfectly fine. The beauty of sex is not only that you can orgasm, it's that you can have a good time and have fun with someone that you're comfortable with. The beauty of sex is that it doesn't have to be chock-full of emotion or smooth gestures. We are human and we make mistakes. Of course, we learn by them, but at first, we cannot all know how to sail through a sex scene like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. You aren't weak if you don't have sex either. Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. Even if your younger 12-year-old sister is having sex five times a day, that's okay. If you're not ready, don't do it. And if you do and you're not ready, you'll probably regret it for some time.

However, back to innocence. I don't agree when people say that to lose one's innocence, one must perform a natural act. What makes sex so impure? In fact, it should be the most pure act. It should be the regain of innocence.

Personally, I don't believe that a child is ever, honestly innocent. Have you seen the little buggers? How can you ever infer that one of those seeds of the devil can be pure? They're selfish, egocentric, and they don't know anything about morality. How are they pure? When they do attain the capabilities of understanding such concepts such as birth, death, and sex, they develop a conscience and understand right from wrong. Their innocence has already gone. The fruit has already been bitten into and Adam and Eve have already fallen. The attainment of knowledge, any kind of knowledge, dispels any doubt of ignorance. The only innocent human being is a new-born baby. Afterwards, they start to puke on you and there's just no return.

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