Sunday, November 29, 2009

run baby run

Run baby run
she called out from the car
I can't stop it at all
No, I can't stop it at all

Run baby run
he called out from the sky
I can't stop for you now
No, I can't stop for you now

Run baby run
He called from above
What'd I give you legs for
They're useless if you don't use them at all

Run baby run baby run baby run
Oh oh, oh no, oh oh, oh no
Run baby run baby run baby run
Oh oh, oh no, oh oh, oh no

But she'd rather just walk
She'd rather just walk now
She tried to run and she broke
So she'd rather just walk now

Run baby run
You've gotta catch your bus
But gain speed and she'll crash
Gain speed and she'll crash

Run baby run, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh (x4)

Her feet don't take her far
But they'll take her as far as she wants
She's more stable that way
So whatever way your boat floats

She tried to run but it just wouldn't work
You can't say she didn't try hard
But it seems if she keeps walking slow
Before long, she's just gonna stop.

philosophy in a tea cup

Cet matin
je me suis reveille au pres de la crainte
elle me tenait proche
elle me tenait comme un amant

Un peu dtresse
jai bu mon cafe sans lait
je l'ai bu sans sucre
comme je bois d'habitude mon the

La tasse, je l'ai mis
sur l'assiette, et la lie
me moquait
avec la question de la vie

Un regard precipite
etait assez pour m'annoncer
que la croix noir
signifait que lat mort etait pres 

accident in paris

Paris has no lights and sleep's setting in
I've been walking down these streets for the past seven years
It's been some time since I've thought of escape
But all the people are closed, they've all become grey

And I wanna know, who gets old in Paris
And I wanna know, who gets cold in Paris
And I wanna know, who's ever died in Paris
Apparently, you and me
Apparently, you and me

The cars are small to fit the streets
The advantage is you see more using your feet
But that's why I never learned to drive
You can go far but you can't get too high

And I should know the silent sounds of Paris
And I should know the secret fears of Paris
And I should've known it would have happened in Paris
To her and her
To her and her

Paris has no lights and sleep's setting in
She told me slow down but of course I didn't listen
And I knew I should've learnt to drive
'Cause you can go far but you can't go too high

She and she are buried so deep
She and she are buried so deep
High in the sky and for the last seven years

Sunday, November 8, 2009

blossom rot

have a pomegranate, she said.
i don't know how to eat them. 
that's alright. i'll teach you. 
intertwining my fingers in hers, she motioned them to take a piece
making her body mine hers mine ours.
she brought it to my lips    ordered me to smell the sharp bitterness
told me there was not a more intimate act of love than
the shock we'd feel once my tongue made contact with the fruit
in my throat nose eyes and
fingertips
like electricity coursing through veins for a split second
before soft numbness crept in. 
one two three taste  the  shock  can  you  feel  it?
i felt a shelf of books tumbling over me
instead of electricity
and tasted sawdust instead of love. 
i think it's rotten, i said. 
yeah, i know. 
i couldn't find another way to tell you
i'm leaving.

written November 8, 2009

Thoughts After Reading "Jonathan Livingston Seagull"

 I recently read Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach for the first time. I had heard of it and I knew that it was a moderately famous book but I had actually never bothered to pick it up and read it. It had to do with seagulls obviously and I wasn't (and still am not) very interested in seagulls. But several days ago, one of my friends let another one of my friends borrow it to read. I asked if I could read it and he said that I probably wouldn't like it because I didn't believe in what was written there. I said I didn't care because I was still interested. And so, yesterday, I sat down and finished it in an hour. It's a very short novel and very easy to read to the point of being deceivingly easy. I'm still trying to understand it and to see if I actually believe in what it says.

"We choose our next world through what we learn in this one. Learn nothing, and the next world is the same as this one, all the same limitations and lead weights to overcome."
"Heaven is not a place, and it is not a time. Heaven is being perfect."

So from what I gathered, the novel has to do with reincarnation. You live one life, and then you live another, and then another until...what? Bach proposes until you reach "Heaven" or "perfection". We live a life and in the next, we take what we've learned and what we've experienced in the past and use that to reach perfection. It is an upward slope, and a steep one at that, but there is still a light at the end of it.

Reincarnation is another way (just like the belief of Heaven and Hell) to make people think that their lives are meaningful, that there is something after death. Because if there isn't, then why should we have lived? After all, "one who lives once might just as well not have lived at all." If one thinks about it, living one single life is a bleak concept. We have this short time to learn all we can, to make all of the mistakes we will make. And perhaps we will not learn all we want, nor will we right all of the mistakes we have made. 'Heaven and Hell' give us a reason to strive to be "good", with the reward of Heaven if we are and the punishment of Hell if we aren't. But reincarnation is much kinder and a much happier concept than either of the two above. We learn what we do in one life and we are able to continue learning (and making mistakes) in the next. The point is to learn, to learn continuously and with delight and joy until one earns perfection. But what comes after perfection? Death? Does one finally enter one world (Heaven, let's call it) in which one can permanently stay in without having to live again and again and revel in one's perfection? For even if those multiple lives do allow one to get closer to perfection, the number of lives changes for each person. One who learns more in the first has to learn less in the next. One who learns nothing in the first has to learn everything in the next to catch up. Even though learning is a joy, one gets tired, frustrated, and angry of not being able to reach perfection. Reincarnation is two-sided. On one hand, it is hope after the first life, hope for more life, for more time, for more knowledge. On the other, it is a never-ending infinite loop in which one must rise and fall repeatedly.

But now, here's the question of questions. Do I actually believe in this concept of reincarnation? As I was talking who the same friend to gave me the book, I was explaining to him that for me, it didn't matter if there was a life or not after this one because for the moment, only this life matters. If there is life after death (hawr hawr), then one should worry about it when one comes to it. If we do think about it, it doesn't make any difference to this life. If there isn't life after death (Heaven, Hell, reincarnation, etc.), then why not live this life to the fullest? After all, it's the only life we have. If there is, though, then the same technique applies. If we live this life to the fullest, we get a reward either way in the next. But I realized that by ignoring the concepts of life after death, I was only avoiding thinking about those ideas and choosing if I believed in them.

Well, for reincarnation specifically, one does not need belief to enter the loop. One is already in the loop itself. It's inevitable. One does not know at what level one is at. So it doesn't really matter if we believe in it or not because if it's not true, we don't lose a thing, and if it is, we still don't lose a thing. Does one remember one's lives before though? In Bach's book, Seagull remembers the time he spent on Earth and even returns to it in order to teach flying to the seagulls who are interested. Personally, I don't remember any life I've lived before so I guess this must be the first one. Also, in Bach's book, Seagull stays a seagull in his second life (and probably in the ones to come). Of course, this is Bach reincarnation (and I'm not sure whether it coincides with the more conventional concept of reincarnation) but either way, what I have just realized right now is that I don't know really much anything about it. :]

And so I say...I shall finish this blog at another time because I need to read on reincarnation.