Sunday, October 15, 2006

AFTER: Untitled

Once upon a time, in a land very far away, hidden in the woods, there lived a clan of elves. they were an inch high, and made their houses from maple tree leaves and ate the berries that were in the bushes. The king and queen were good rulers and their people lived happily. the king had two boys and one daughter. The girl, Lucinda, was the most beautiful elf in the clan. She was barely seven years old when her older brothers went to join the army to fight in the war that was raging in the neighbouring clan. Now, her only company was her friend, the ladybug, April.
One day, while the little elf was playing in the grass, April came to her side, and told her,
"Today, I have to leave. It's my mother's birthday back home. You may come with me if you like."
"Oh, please! Please take me with you!"
So on they went, over hills and rivers, for many a day and many a night. Finally, they arrived in a very populated ladybug city. Inns, houses, shops, pubs, and formal buildings littered the leafy streets that made up the village of Rowan.
That night, April told Lucinda,
"Tomorrow night, there is a ball. It will be very beautiful. Would you like to come with me?"
"Oh, yes, please."
April wore a satiny white dress made from daisy petals and Lucinda was dressed in the red velvet of a rose petal. Everyone at the ball stared at their beauty. April was complimented and asked to dance by many gentle-bugs but Lucinda was approached gingerly and looked at with suspicion. She was not one of them, and her dress made her look different.
After the ball had ended, the guests went home and the two friends were about to leave also when Lucinda decided to stay and chat with the hosts. April left and Lucinda looked around but couldn't find anyone.
She felt lonely and was about to leave when she found a door slightly open and out of curiosity, she opened it, and gasped...The room was full of jewels. Around every chest that held the treasures were wasps, ready to defend them from any intruder that would dare enter. But because it was late, the guards were asleep.
No one will notice if I take a little jewel, Lucinda thought. So she took a small pearl, the size of a dot. And she crept out of the room without awakening any of the wasps.
She went back home and went to sleep.

The next morning, Lucinda awoke with a dreadful headache. She saw April holding the little pearl.
"Where did you get this pearl?", April asked with wide-eyed astonishment.
So, Lucinda told her the shameful story. When she had finished, April quietly said,
"In my kingdom, the thieves get their hands cut off. You should return the pearl before they find you."
And with these words, she left.

As Lucinda entered the village of Rowan, she gasped in horror. The buildings were shattered like the broken bones of a giant. The smoke that curled from the black chimneys was not cheerful like the time when Lucinda last came to the village, but was sorrowful like a widow's dress.
She hurried to the beautiful mansion that had hosted the ball and entered through the two oak doors. She stumbled to the treasure room and screeched suddenly to a halt. The skeletons in tattered, black robes that were her hosts stood before her. Lucinda fearfully opened her hand, revealing the pearl. Suddenly, toying smiles crossed their faces. The little pearl had changed into ----

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


I don't want to think today.
In English, we're in Poetry.
And we're reading philosophical poems.
I don't want to think today,
because I'm afraid if i do, 
the sun will come reaching through
to grab me by the hand
and take me away to Heaven.

It's not that I don't want to go to Heaven,
or that I don't want to die. 
Because in Homeroom, I killed myself
so I didn't have to make people laugh.
I wanted to lie down and sit there,
and not think about anything.

I want to be blind.
I want to see darkness.
I don't want to see people,
bloated people.
Sometimes, I want to stab them,
until they die.

Sometimes, I feel silent,
and I want to be left alone.
But then the real world crashes down on me,
and it kills me.
And I want to cry.
But, I can't, because I'm dead.

Sometimes, I feel like Wednesday Addams,
like killing people for pleasure,
or being silent and not being bantered. 
Halloween scares me, though.
The candy makes me sick, so I want to throw up.

Sometimes, I want to hurt myself,
Make myself feel pain, make myself cry. 
I don't want to be a leftover.
I want to have friends,
I don't want to be here,
I want to write.
But sometimes, my ideas are like quicksilver 
and I can't keep up with them. And then,
comes writer's block, but that is so much more
Like a song. A couple of days singing that song, can't
getting rid of it, sweating, but you can't stop.
And then, it's gone.

You're alone.

And sad. 

Sometimes, I feel like shit. 

Thursday, October 5, 2006


She sits there watching her reflection in the window. Her light brown eyes intently follow the birds that squawk terribly at each other. She looks like the statue of femininity. You call her gently.
"Come on, Valerie. Get away from there. You can't watch birds all day long."
But she doesn't even move. You sigh and go to your mother.
"Mom, Valerie isn't going to move. She's staring out the window."
"Well, let her be, Sarah. You know she won't appreciate it if you disturb her."
"OK. Whatever."
But as you leave the room, you have a slight hope that Valerie has moved. But she hasn't. She's still in the same position, watching the birds.

It's the first time in a long time she frets. She's nervous. She doesn't know what's going to happen to her. Sarah had quieted her down with the words,
"Don't worry, Valerie. Nothing bad's going to happen to you. We'll take you somewhere nice and after that, we'll give you a treat. OK?"
And Sarah patted her on her head.
But the mention of the treat didn't calm her. She started whimpering.
"Sarah, go and calm her down."
"OK, fine."
As the mother reached the hospital, Valerie started screaming. As Sarah tried getting her out of the car, Valerie started howling and fighting.
"Calm down! Nothing bad is going to happen to you!"
But finally, the mother placed a bag over Valerie's head to muffle her screams.
"Thanks, Mom. She almost killed me."

"It seems to me that Valerie is suffering from an interesting disease."
"Disease? What do you mean, disease?", wailed Sarah.
"Calm down. What disease?", the mother asked.
"Oh, well, I didn't mean physically. I meant mentally. Actually, it's not a disease as much as it's a problem. You see, Valerie is trying to get away. She's trying to tell you that she needs to be alone. But of course, the only way she can express that is in ignoring you."
"But why does she stare all day out the window?"
"Have you been feeding her properly?"
"She doesn't want to eat. She doesn't touch a bite."
"Have you taken her outside?"
"Well, Valerie has never taken to the outdoors. She's always preferred inside."
"Hmmm. I see. Interesting. Well, all you can do now is to leave her alone, and in time, she will slowly regain her normal self."

"So now, what are we going to do?"
"You heard what the doctor said. We're going to leave her alone."
"But what if she dies of hunger?"
"She won't. She'll know when to eat."

But months passed and still, Valerie showed no signs of regaining her normal behaviour. She ate little and grew very thin. Her ribs were visible and her eyes were sunken. But she still stayed near the window, watching the birds.
"You know, birds aren't that interesting to watch."
"Maybe she should go outside."
"I don't know. I think she would be scared."

"Oh my gosh, she's so cute!"
"Yeah, but she doesn't do anything all day long. It's no use talking to her."
Sarah's friends entered her room and for two hours, "studied". Then, they came out again, giggling.
"It's kinda hot in here, isn't it?", one of them said.
"Yeah, it's burning!"
The girl opened the window and to everyone's astonishment, Valerie sprang out the window, rand to the end of the street, and disappeared around the corner.

When Sarah's mother came and found out what had happened, she calmly said,
"Cats are very strange."